Overheard in court today: “Do you realize here the judges are John, John and Steve, Steve?”
— Judge John Vander Feer to Judge John Gibson

When Judge Steve Malone swore in Judge Steve Mapes, he joined the Barstow-bench squad of two Johns — Judge John Gibson, Judge John Vander Feer — and now two Steves — Judge Steve Malone and Judge Steve Mapes.

Read more about Judge Mapes at www.desertdispatch.com

Perhaps criminals in the Barstow area get wind that a reporter will be riding along with a sheriff’s deputy or police officer? Perhaps criminals know that I always carry a pen, pad and camera in tow? Perhaps the sheriff’s department and police department should start paying me to ride along and keep crime down.After three ride-alongs — two with Barstow PD officers and one last Friday with a sheriff’s deputy — and a meager amount of arrests or “real action,” I have decided that I am one of the best deterrents to crime in this city. It’s a trend — yes — whenever I ride along nothing happens.

My Friday night out with the sheriff’s department did not net any drug busts, no firework confiscations, not even a copper wire theft. Deputy Himes and I did assist in the servicing of a handful of warrants, made a few traffic stops, checked out a potential burglary at the Yermo school and told a man in the Harvard area of Newberry Springs to stop showing his kids science experiments a muriatic acid. Still not sure what muriatic acid is, just know you shouldn’t play with it.

A lieutenant at the sheriff’s department told me not to get down on myself, that sometimes it is just a slow night, and invited me back out sometime. A CHP officer said ride-alongs normally go like that, the unit with a passenger gets no calls while the rest of the area is swamped. I have a ride-along with the CHP coming up soon. We’ll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I am contracting myself out as a crime stopper, take me along and the criminals stay away. It only seems fitting, a news guy who has a secret identity as a crime fighter, sort of like Spider-Man.